Working on 7 Habits

Some of you know that I took the class 7 Habits of Highly Effective People several years ago and it had a profound affect on me. The class was taught by Bill Weaver (a blog I mention on here regularly) and Amy Stockdale.

In reflection, I have decided that though I need to work on all of them (to Sharpen the Saw), I really need to focus on Habit 5 right now. Habit 5 is Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood. I struggle with this one. Here is an explanation:

Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. but what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?

If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating.

So here I go! I will try to Seek First to Understand today!